The short story
I’m an colored pencil artist who lives in metro Detroit, Michigan. I live with my sweet pup, Pinot, and my loving husband, Michael. They are my rocks.
I was always aThrough a rough period of mental illness, I rediscovered my love for art. Every time I found myself in a deep bout of depression, nearly paralyzed by my own thoughts, I also had a very strong urge to draw. I found that I would lose track of time when I reproduced every detail of an image onto paper. I knew, without a doubt, that I had to pursue art as a career.
I grew up an art fanatic. Everything I did and thought was rooted in creativity. I drew paper lights to hang on my bedroom walls during the holidays, I co-invented board games with my childhood best friend, and I even handcrafted paper pajamas. I always knew that I was different in that way.
As I grew older, I chose to leave my “childish” creative ways behind. It wasn’t long before low self-esteem and sadness began to overwhelm me. I decided to focus on academics because I believed that prestige and financial success would guarantee happiness. Thus, I pursued a nursing career in hopes of one day becoming a nurse anesthetist. I followed that path and practiced bedside nursing full-time for four years, but something still felt wrong.
I still hated myself. I was so consumed by my own self-loathing thoughts that I thought the world would be better off without me.
During my all-time lows, I wanted to do nothing more than draw and help others that also hate themselves. I know, it doesn’t make any sense.
The urge was strong, but I didn’t know what to do with it. I began to satisfy these odd cravings by drawing pencil portraits and writing for my own amateur personal development blog. I had no idea what I was doing, but I would get lost for hours doing these. They brought me happiness.
But why, I wondered. It wasn’t until I began to research mindfulness that I realized that it was because I was doing things that I truly enjoyed. I hadn’t felt that pleasure in so long. For years, I was living a life that I thought others would be proud of me for, that I lost myself in the process.
I wanted to feel this way ALL the time. I couldn’t stay true to myself by living two different worlds. I felt like a hypocrite by preaching doing what you love but still holding onto my unsatisfying nursing career.
To be completely honest, I didn’t understand how to fully immerse myself in this new world. I was scared.
I read a quote that honestly changed my life: redefine success in terms of happiness.
With the help of my family, I was able to gain the knowledge and confidence required for me to make that leap. I live my entire life based on doing things that make me happy by living a life based on mindfulness.
That’s what lead me here.
I’m doing what I love every single day. I can now work with a genuine smile from ear to ear. I love what I do.
I’m here to share with you my experiences and tips to help you do the same. I want you to live a life based on mindfulness so that you can finally feel the happiness that you deserve. I want you to love life, but more importantly I want you to love yourself.